Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
