Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
