You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
