i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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