? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
