Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
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We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
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Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too