i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners