I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Girls should come with a carfax report
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.