I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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