The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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