i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
