this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
