Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
