hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
