im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
