i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
