she was so not down for the gang bang
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize