She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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