I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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