Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
