Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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