ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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