you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
