8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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