How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
