If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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