question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
