YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
