We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
