How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
