Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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