i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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