remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize