can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
