I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize