Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
