Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
