Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
