She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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