Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
