I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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