We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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