I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
