Welp...herpes.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
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Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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