in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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