honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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