My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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