Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
