At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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