Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
