I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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