that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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