You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
