Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
