Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
