id be glad to
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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