If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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