life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
