She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
