So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
