I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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