I want to stick my p in your. b.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
