i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
