she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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