So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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