everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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